In order to be successful, you have to be focused.
This happens for us too. There is a huge difference between saying you are a writer and actually writing. There is a huge difference between dabbling in a story and making life choices to complete that story. And there is a huge difference between committing by word and committing by deed.
This is a threshold I crossed this weekend, declining to work in a position that I'm certain I could be successful at, but that would take a decent amount of time. Time that would cut into my work as a mom. Time that would kill my work as a writer.
I don't want this post to lead you to believe that this was an easy decision. I even said yes for three days. But when I really sat down and thought about what was important in my life, it wasn't this role. It is my family, it is teaching and it is writing.
Think about it. In every movie where someone is learning to fight, they are told to clear their mind. In order to have success in these kinds of fights, the fighter has to be at peace in his/her mind and heart, has to be focused, has to be alert to the life flowing around them. If you were in a battle for your life, would you really be thinking about deadlines and laundry and yards? It's quite absurd, but that's what we all try to do. If writing is important to you, if you have made the decision to pursue this as a career on whatever level, prove it and say no to the unimportant things that distract, take time and energy and give yourself permission to be the best writer you can.
Center your world on that goal, let others know it is an essential part of your life.
Do you have a hard time saying no? Have you learned how to cut the things that won't help you achieve your goal? Have you proven to yourself that you are committed and focused on your goal?
That sounds like it was a really tough decision. My saying no's are on a smaller scale, but I find I have to say them frequently. No, I won't meet a friend for lunch, go to the movies, etc. You're right. It's hard, but writing is a discipline.
ReplyDeleteThis is exactly what I needed to hear today. Thanks for posting it. For me the trick is to commit to my "day" job and get it done in a timely fashion so I can write. However, I fritter time away thinking about writing instead of plowing through my work to get to the other side. Since I work at home, discipline feels like my nemesis every minute of every day. But you are totally right, I need to make a commitment, if I'm going to. Because it's the writers out there who make those hard choices (like you did) who end up achieving their goals.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the wakeup call. Good luck in all your writing goals as well.
A good reminder, Tasha! It's easy to say yes too many times and get burned out so that it's impossible to have success at anything. Thanks for the encouragement to stay focused!
ReplyDeleteWhile I used to despise the word "no" I have come to love it! "NO" is empowering, freeing and ultimately the one word that helps me accomplish the most. Sometimes the "NO" is even to myself! As in, "No, you can't watch another episode of Firefly on Netflix." Or, "No, you don't need to go check the updates on Facebook--for the fifteenth time."
ReplyDeleteI've come to see my writing time very much like a job. If I had a full time job I wouldn't be saying yes to babysitting this person's kids during the day or chatting all day on the phone with that person. While I like doing those things, they can't happen during work hours! My boss would fire me! (Which she'd totally do, too!)
Great post Tasha, thank you! And congrats to you for embracing the Power of NO!!