Play Nice

So you want to be a writer, right?  I’m going to let you in on a secret that will take you further than any other advice except put your butt in your chair and write.

Are you ready?

Be nice.

Nope, be nicer than nice.  Be courteous.

What?!? That’s your amazing piece of advice?

Yes.  Here’s why.  Let’s start at the very beginning writing process.  You have the idea, the motivation, your stash of cinnamon bears and Diet Coke and are ready to go.  But if you are like me and pretty much every writer I know, we don’t live in a bubble, and many of us have kids.  We need to be courteous when the kids or spouse take on some roles of independence or help a little more so we can write.  Be kind and gracious when the time is given.  Even if it comes after dozens of reminders and your patience is just about out, always say thank you.  These are the people we need to support us the most.

Say you are in a writers group (which if you aren’t find one immediately) and they point out problems with your WIP – things that are going to have to be fixed.  I know, they are telling you that your little darling isn’t Mary Poppins – practically perfect in every way.  Say thank you because they took time away from their precious writing time to help you.  Don’t get defensive.  You may need take a moment to explain what you were trying to convey in your writing but this can be done in a professional and polite way – “I wanted the reader to feel...I wanted the character to depict…etc.”  And always, always end your commentary with thank you.  Every single time.

Bloggers are some of the most wonderful people out there, but like the writer’s group/critique partners, they are busy people who would like to be writing as well.  Always make sure you thank every single commenter.  You can either do with through email (I have all the comments on my blog come to my email and reply to every single one) or you can go through in the comments @name of commenter and continue the conversation that way.  If you want to have people like you, you have to talk back to them.  And remember, thank them for taking the time to post on your blog, for stopping by, etc.

Finally, there are the people who make the books end up in the hands of readers.  Regardless of your choice of publication, there are people who are going to make it possible to get your book out there – artists, editors, agents, publishing houses, etc.  Rule number one with agents is pay attention to their preferences with queries, their timelines in getting back to you and honor that.  If an agent says no but takes the time to tell you why, reply with a thank you.

How do you practice courtesy in your writing associations?  What suggestions do you have for when being courteous is the last thing you want to be?

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